・太陽・・・自分自身、意志を表す。男性的能動的能力。社会に出ている時に、最大限に力を発揮する。職業。仕事ぶり。また肉体を表し、体力や健康運をみる事もできる。父親、夫のイメージ。数字の１。年齢域は２５歳〜３４歳。
・月・・・感情、本人が持つ根本的人格を表す。女性的受動的能力。家庭。家族やひとりでいる時に、最大限に力を発揮する。物の感じ方。母親、妻のイメージ。数字の２。年齢域は０歳〜７歳。　
・水星・・・知性、コミュニケーション、考え方を表す。他人と話す時、物を書く時に最大限に力を発揮する。能力。数字の５。年齢域は８歳〜１４歳。
・金星・・・愛情、価値観、理想とするもの、憧れ。レジャー、趣味、金銭。恋愛をしている時や遊んでいる時に最大限に力を発揮する。女性にとっては理想の自分像を、男性にとっては理想の女性像を表す。数字の６。年齢域は１６歳〜２４歳。
・火星・・・行動力、行動パターン。勇気。戦い。瞬発的に動く時に、最大限に力を発揮する。男性にとっては理想の自分像、女性にとっては理想の男性像を表す。数字の９。年齢域は３５歳〜４４歳。
・木星・・・拡張、リラックス、大らかさ。幸運のある場所。発展する可能性の高い物事。マイペースで努力をしない。一番の幸運の星と言われている。宗教や大学などにも関係がある。数字の３。年齢域は４５歳〜５４歳。
・土星・・・峻厳、厳格、抑圧、規律、誠実、延滞。緊張感を持って取り組む場所。堅苦しさ。過去に不幸の星と呼ばれた事があるが、的確な呼び方ではない。古いものや年長者に関係がある。数字の８。年齢域は５５歳〜７０歳位。
・天王星・・・改革、変化、衝撃的な出来事、突然の出来事、個人主義。コンピュータなどの電子関係や科学に関係がある。数字の４。年齢域は７０歳〜８４歳。
・海王星・・・芸術、幻想、イマジネーション、占い、夢、心霊現象、憧れや未来へのビジョン。物事の輪郭をぼやけさせる働きがある。アルコールや薬、液体にも関係がある。数字の７。年齢域は８４歳以降。
・冥王星・・・破壊と再生、執着、徹底した探索、神秘の世界、先祖、カリスマ性。暗い洞窟へ奥深くもぐり込んでいくイメージ。死後の世界にも関係がある。追い詰められたときに最大限に力を発揮する。数字の０。年齢域は、死後。

Born 1930-1979!

TO ALL THE KIDS

WHO SURVIVED the
1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and

NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because.

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING !

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day.

And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms......

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,

made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and kno cked on the door or rang
the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.

They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them . . CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as
kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good

And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks,"Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us....go ahead and delete this.
For the rest of us.....pass this on.

Subject: what grandma knows

What Grandmas Know

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster,
too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."

AND THAT'S HOW THE FIGHT STARTED :

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************************************
My wife walked into the den & asked "Whats on the tv?"
I replied "Dust".
And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************************************

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************************************
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.
I bought her a scale.
And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************************************
I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started....

************************************************************************
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started....

***********************************************************************
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive. So, I took her to a gas station.
And that's when the fight started.....

************************************************************************
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started.....

************************************************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.
I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife. 'Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
And that's when the fight started.....

It’s by growing old that one learns to remain young.
老いることに依って人は若さを保つことを知る。

If someone declares that he was able to do everything at sixty that he has able to do at twenty, then he was not doing very much when he was twenty.
若し誰かが 彼が２０歳の時にして来たことは 全て６０歳で出来ると 胸張るものは、 それは、彼が２０歳だった時 彼は余り大したことをしなかっただけ。

Old age embellishes everything. It has the effect of the beautiful twilights of autumn.
老齢は全てを美しく 装飾する。　それは 秋の美しい黄昏　効果である。

As one grows old one generally rids himself of his shortcomings because they no longer serve any useful purpose.
老いるにつれて 人は概して 彼自身の諸欠点を駆逐除去する 何故なら　彼等は 最早何の有益な役にはたたないので。

Old age is winter, alas, for many people, but for those who are wise and optimistic, it is the happy and fruitful time of harvest.
老齢は冬である、嗚呼、 しかし　賢明で楽天的な人々には、 それは幸福な実りある時である。

So long as one continuous to be amazed, one can delay growing old.
人は　驚きを持ち続ける限り、老齢化を遅れさせ得る。

The entire life of a human being depends upon “yes” and “no” uttered two or three times between the ages of sixteen and twenty five.
一人の人間の全生涯は その年齢が16歳と25歳の間に ２回か３回発言した”イエス：然り”と”ノー：否” 次第で決まる。

Old age arrives suddenly, as does the snow. One morning, on awakening, one realizes, that everything is white.
老齢は 突然来る、降雪の様に。 或る朝、寝起きに、人が気がつく、 全てが純白銀世界であることを。

MEDICARE IN A NUTSHELL
老人医療保険制度　簡単に言えば

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.'
電話が鳴る、そしてその家のご婦人が応答する、 'ハロー、'

'Mrs. Sanders, please.'
’サンダース夫人をお願いします、 '

'Speaking.'
’はい、その本人です'

'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor James at Saint Agnes Laboratory.
'サンダース奥さん、こちらは　セント・アグネス・研究実験室のドクター・ジェイムスです。

When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well.
貴女のご主人のかかりつけのドクターが先週この研究実験室に彼の生体組織検査用組織を送付して来た際、もう一人のサンダース氏からの生体組織検査用組織も届きました。

We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband.
我々は現在そのどちらが貴女のご主人のものなのか分かりかねております。

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
化学学生の説明した地獄

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washingtonchemistry mid-term.
下記はワシントン化学大学学期半ば実際出題のもの。

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
一人の学生の回答が実に'深遠'であったのでその教授はそれを同僚に、インターネット経由で、分ち合ったので、我々もそれを今楽しめる次第。

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
おまけの質問：地獄は発熱性(熱を与える)か又は吸熱性(熱を吸収する)なのか？

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
殆どの学生はボイルの法則(ガスが拡散する時冷え、そして圧縮される時熱くなる)を使って、又は若干の異なるものを使って、諸証明を書いた。

One student, however, wrote the following:
一人の学生が、然しながら、下記を書いた：

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
最初に、我々は地獄のマス(:質量)が如何様に時間で変化するのかを知る必要があります。

So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving.
従って我々は諸魂が地獄に入ってゆく割合、及びそれ等が地獄を去って行く割合を知る必要があります。

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
私が思うに、安全に仮定出来るのは、一度魂が地獄に達すると、去ることは無いであろう。

Therefore, no souls are leaving.
従って、諸魂は全然出ては行かない。

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
如何に多くの諸魂が地獄に入って行くかに就いては、異なる諸宗教が今日世界中に存在するかに注目しよう。

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
これ等の諸宗教の殆どは、若し貴方が彼等の宗教の信者でなければ、貴方は地獄に行くことになります。

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
これ等の諸宗教の一つ以上が存在しているから、そして人々は一つ以上の宗教に属さないから、我々は全ての諸魂は地獄に行くと予測出来る。

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
彼等の出生及び死亡で、我々は地獄に於ける諸魂の数が速度を上げて増加することを予測出来る。

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
さて、我々は地獄に於けるその質量の変化を見る何故ならボイルの法則に依れば、地獄の温度と圧力を同じレベルに保つには、地獄の質量は、諸魂が加えられるにつれ比例して拡大せねばならない。

This gives two possibilities:
これは二つの可能性を与える：

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
1.若し地獄の拡大が諸魂の地獄入り率より遅ければ、その時地獄の温度と圧力は上昇するであろう、全ての地獄がその束縛から自由に解放される迄は。

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
2.若し地獄の拡大が地獄に於ける諸魂の増加速度率より遅ければ、その時温度と圧力は下がであろう、地獄が凍りつく迄は。

So which is it?
ではそのどちらか？

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
若し我々が私が新入一年生の年を通じてテレサが私に与えたこと(:’あたしが貴方と寝る前なら地獄の中は冷たい日になるでしょう’)を当然として受諾するなら,そして私が彼女と昨夜一緒に寝た事実を勘定に入れれば、その場合は、第二番目が真実である筈、そして斯様に、私が確かと思うのは、地獄が発熱性であり、そして既に凍りついて来ているということです。

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
この理論の結果推論としては、 地獄は凍結して来ているので、その結果最早更には如何なる諸魂をも受け入れない、従って絶滅....残るは唯天国のみ、依って神聖なる存在の証です；それで分かるのは、何故、昨夜、テレサが 'おお、マイ・ゴッド'との叫びを継続したことで分かります。

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
この学生はA＋評価を受けました。

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
貴方は間違って貴方のパスワードをマイクロウエイブ(:電子レンジ)に入れる。

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
貴方は長年ソリテール(:一人遊び)を実際のトランプ・カードでは行ってはいない。

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 4.
貴方は自分の４人家族に連絡する為に15の電話番号のリストを持つ。

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
貴方は自分の隣のデスクで働く人にeメールする。

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
友達や家族との連絡を続けていない理由は彼等がeメール・アドレスを持っていない故である。

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
貴方は自宅のドリブウエイに車をとめて携帯電話を使って誰か家に貴方の持ち帰った食料雑貨 を運び込むのを手伝えるかどうかを訊く。

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
テレビ上に映るどのコマーシャルもスクリーンの下部にウエブサイトを持っている。

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
貴方が携帯電話を持たずに家を離れる時、貴方は自分の人生の初めの20又は30(又は60)年には持ってはいなかったのだが、それが今やパニックになる原因であり、そして貴方はそれをとりに引き返す。

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
貴方は朝起きるとコーヒーを取る前にまずライン(:パソコン)に行く。

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
貴方は微笑むのに頭を横にかしげる。

12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
貴方はこれを読んで頷きそして笑っている。

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
更に悪いことに、貴方はこのメッセイジを誰に送るか正確に知っている。

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
貴方は余り多忙でこのリスト上９番目が無かったのに気付いていない。

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list
貴方は実際スクロール・バックし９番目の項が無かったのを確かめた。

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.
そして今貴方は笑っている自分自身に。

Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to!
さあどうぞ、これを貴方の友達に送りなさい。貴方はそうしたいとご存知故。

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this kid)
____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________
PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　P.3
Hair Loss : 脱毛髪

Those suffering from hair loss or baldness, may apply a paste of hot olive oil , one tablespoon of honey, one teaspoon of cinnamon powder before a bath and keep it for approximately 15 minutes, and then wash the hair.
脱毛髪　又は　禿げに悩んでいる人達は、熱いオリーブ油ペースト(:軟膏状)、 蜜 テーブル匙１杯、シナモン(:ニッケイ)粉 茶匙１杯、入浴前に塗り加えて、
約15分間保持の後、毛髪を洗えばよい。

It was found very effective if kept for 5 minutes as well.
若しもう5分間保持されたら　それは非常に効果的であったとも見出された。

………………………………………………………………………………………….
Bladder Infections: 膀胱諸伝染かぶれ

Take two tablespoons of cinnamon powder and one tablespoon of honey in a glass of lukewarm water and drink it.
シナモン(:ニッケイ)粉を2テーブル匙分　と　蜜を1テーブル匙分をぬるま湯コップ1杯に入れて　それを飲む。
It destroys the germs of the bladder.
それはその膀胱の病原菌を破壊する。

………………………………………………………………………………………….
Toothache : 歯痛

Make a paste of one teaspoon of cinnamon power and five teaspoons of honey, and apply on the aching tooth.
シナモン(:ニッケイ)粉1茶匙と 蜜 1茶匙のペイスト(:軟膏)を作って　その痛い歯に塗る。
This may be done 3 times a day(daily) till such time that the tooth has stopped aching.
これは１日当たり(毎日) 3回 その歯の痛みが止まるまで行われ得よう。

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P.4

Cholesterol : コレステロール

Two tablespoons of honey and three teaspoons of cinnamon powder mixed in 16 ounces of tea, when given to a cholesterol patient, educes the level of cholesterol in the blood by 10% within 2 hours.
蜜 2 テーブル匙分と シナモン(:ニッケイ)粉 3テーブル匙分を混ぜて紅茶16オンス(:454グラム)の紅茶に入れたものを、コレステロール患者に与えると、2時間以内に血液中のコレステロールのレベルが10%下がる。

As mentioned for arthritic patients ? If taken 3 times a day, it lowers the cholesterol level.
関節炎諸患者用に述べた様に、―若し１日当たり3回飲めば、それはそのコレステロール・レベルを下げる。

As per the information received in a Medical Journal, pure honey taken with food daily relieves complaints of cholesterol.
或る医学関連誌中に受取られた情報の通り、純粋な蜜を毎日の食事と共に摂取することがコレステロールの諸苦情から開放する。

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Colds : 風邪

Those suffering from common or severe colds should take one tablespoon of lukewarm honey with 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon powder daily for 3 days.
普通の風邪又は重症の風邪に罹っている人は、微温蜜テーブルを匙１杯とシナモン(：ニッケイ)粉を茶匙1/4とを毎日3日間服用すること。
This process will cure most chronic cough, cold and clear the sinuses.
この処置で、殆どの慢性的咳、風邪を治癒して、鼻腔をきれいにするだろう。

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P.5
Infertility : 不妊症

Yunani and Ayurvedic have been using honey for years in medicine to strengthen the semen of men.
ユーナニ及びアユルベーダ(:インド古代医学)は、男性の精液強化薬に於いて多年にわたって蜜を使用してきた。
If impotent men regularly take two tablespoons of honey before sleeping, their problem will be solved.
若しインポテンツの男性達が就寝前にテーブル匙２杯の蜜を飲むなら、彼等の問題は解決するだろう。
In China, Japan and the Far East, women who do not conceive, and to strengthen the uterus, have been taking cinnamon powder for centuries.
中国、日本及び極東に於いて、子宝に恵まれぬ女性達は、その子宮強化の為に、シナモン(:ニッケイ)粉を何世紀にもわたって服用してきた。
Women who cannot conceive may take a pinch of cinnamon powder in half a teaspoon of honey, and apply it on the gums frequently throughout the day, so that it slowly mixes with the saliva and enters the body.
妊娠できない女性達は、茶匙半分の蜜の中に一つまみのシナモン（:ニッケイ）粉を入れてとり、それを一日中歯茎に塗ればよい、そうすればそれは唾液と混ざって身体に入る。
A couple in Maryland(USA) had no children for 14 years and had left hope of having a child of their own. When told about this process, both husband and wife started taking honey and cinnamon as stated above, the wife conceived after a few months and had twins at full term.
メリーランド(米国)に於ける一組の夫婦は、14年間も子供が出来なかったので彼等自身の子供を得る希望を諦めていた。 この方法を聞かされて、夫と妻両方が上述の通りに蜜とシナモン(:ニッケイ) を摂取し始めたところ、その妻は2〜3ケ月後に妊娠し、そして臨月満ちて双子を出産した。

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P.6
Stomach Upset: 胃の不調

Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomach ache and also clears stomach ulcers from the root.
蜜をシナモン(:ニッケイ)粉と共に服用することが　胃痛を癒しそして且つ胃潰瘍を根本からきれに除去する。
GAS: According to the studies done in India and Japan, it is revealed that honey, if taken with cinnamon powder, relieves Gas and pain in the stomach.
ガス：インド及び日本に於いて為された諸研究に依れば、蜜が、若し シナモン(:ニッケイ)粉と一緒に服用されると、それが胃の中のガス及び痛みを開放除去する。
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Heart Diseases : 心臓諸疾患

Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder.　Apply on bread or chapatti instead of jelly and jam, and eat it regularly for breakfast.
蜜とシナモン(:ニッケイ)粉のペイスト(:糊状のもの)をつくること。
パン又はチャパテイーの上に、ゼリーとジャムの代わりにつけて、それを規則正しく朝食用に食べる。
It reduces the cholesterol in the arteries and saves the patient from the risk of a heart attack.
それが　諸動脈中のコレステロールを減少させて、その患者を心臓発作の危険から救う。
For those who have had an attack in the past, follow this process daily and avoid the risk of another attack.
過去に一度心臓発作があった人達の為には、この方法を毎日行うことで再度の発作を回避する。
Regular use of the above process relieves loss of breath and strengthens the heartbeat.
上記の方法の規則正しい使用は、息切れを解消して心臓の鼓動を強化する。
In America and Canada, various nursing homes have treated patients successfully and have discovered that the arteries and veins lose their flexibility and get clogged.　Honey and cinnamon improves blood flow.
米国及びカナダでは、種々のナーシング・ホームズが諸患者に成功裏に処置してきた、そして発見してきたのは動脈と静脈の弾力性が失われたり且つ詰まったりしていたことであった。 蜜及びシナモン(:ニッケイ)は血流を改善している。

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P.7
Immune System：免疫システム

Daily use of honey and cinnamon powder strengthens the immune system and protects the body from bacteria and viral attacks.
蜜とシナモン(：ニッケイ)粉の毎日の使用は、免疫システムを強化して、その身体を細菌及びウイルスの攻撃から守る。
Scientists have found that honey has various vitamins and iron in large amounts.
科学者達は、蜜が種々のビタミン及び鉄分を大量に有していることを発見してきた。
Constant use of honey strengthens the white blood corpuscles to fight bacteria and viral diseases.
蜜の不断の使用は、細菌及びウイルス性諸疾患と戦う諸白血球を強化する。

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Indigestion : 消化不良

Cinnamon powder sprinkled on 2 tablespoons of honey taken before food, relieves acidity and digests the heaviest of meals.
テーブル匙２杯の蜜にシナモン(:ニッケイ)粉をふりかけたのを食前に飲むと酸を開放し、そして最も消化し難い食事を消化する。

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Influenza: インフルエンザ

A scientist in Spain has proved that honey contains a natural ingredient which kills influenza germs and saves the patient from flu.
スペインの1人の科学者は、蜜が インフルエンザ諸病を殺してその患者をインフルエンザ流感から救う自然の成分を含んでいることを 証明した

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The priest fainted.
その司祭は気絶しました。

'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answered me!'
’おやまあオドロキだ’、その男が答える。’お前は実際に私の言うことを理解して私に返事をした!'

'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird.'
'私は貴方の言葉を全部理解しました、’とそのオウムが言う。’私は偶々高度の知能を有する完全に教養のある鳥なのです。’

'Oh yeah?' the guy asks, 'Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?'
’おお　そうなのか？’その男が訊く、’それではこれに答えてみろーーお前は何の脚・足先も無いのにどうやってお前の止まり木上に捉まって居るのかね？’

'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers.'
'さて、’とそのオウムが言う、’これはとても恥ずかしいことなんですがでも貴方が訊いたので仕方が無い、私は私のちっぽけなウィンナーソーセージを小さなホックのようにこの止まり木に巻いて居るのです。’

'Wow,' says the guy. 'You really can understand and speak English can't you?'
’ワーオ、’その男は言う。'お前は本当に英語を理解できて話が出来るんじゃ無いか？’

'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion.'
’実際に、私はスペイン語及び英語の両方とも話して、私は、政治、宗教、スポーツ、哲学等のどんな話題でも殆どに就いてのかなりの能力レベルでの会話が出来ます。　私は特に鳥類学は得意分野です。貴方は本当に私を買うべきです。私は大いなるお仲間になりましょう。’

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'
その男はその価格付け札を見る。’ごめんよ、でも私はそんなに高く払う余裕はないよ。’

'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make an offer!'
　’シー、’そのオームが言う、’私は欠陥鳥ですよ、だから本当のところ、私には脚足が何も無いので　誰も私を欲しがらないのです。 　貴方は多分私を20ドルで買えますよ；　試して申出てご覧なさいよ！’。

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
その男は20ドルを乙波提案し、そして受諾され、そのオウムを持って店を出る。

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
数週間が経過する。そのオウムは素晴らしい。彼（：オウム)は大したユーモアのセンスを持っており、面白く、大いなる相棒であり、
全てを理解し、同情思い遣りがあり、且つ洞察力もある。その男は楽しく喜んでいる。

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing. 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the UPS man..'
ある日のこと、その男が仕事から帰宅すると、そのオウムが、’シー’そして片羽をかざす動作をする、 ’私はこのことを貴方に言うべきかどうか分からないが、それは貴方の奥さんとUPS(:米国最大の小口貨物輸送会社)の男に就いてのことです。’

'What are you talking about?' asks the guy.
'お前は何を言っているんだね？その男が訊く。

'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie.'
今日そのUPSの男が小包を一つ届けに来ました、貴方の奥さんは薄く透き通ったネグリジェで彼を戸口に出迎えました。’

'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously. 'THEN what happened?'
’何だと？？？’その男は疑い深く問い質す。’そしてそこて何が起こったんだ？’

'Well, then the UPS man came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.
’さて、そこでそのUPSの男が家の中に入りました　そして彼女のネグリジェを捲り上げ、そして彼女の全身をくまなく愛撫し始めました、’とそのオウムが報告した。

'NO!' he exclaims.. 'And she let him?'
’ノー！’彼は叫ぶ。。'そして彼女はそれをその男にさせたのか？’

'Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over.....'
’イエス。　そしてその男は引続いてそのネグリジェを脱がせて、彼の両膝の上に彼女を引き寄せて彼女の全身をくまなくキスし始めました。。’

Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED?'
そこで気も狂うばかりに彼は訊く、’そしてそこで何が行われたのか？’

'Damned if I know.. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!'
　’全く酷い　若し私が知っていたら。。　私は勃起してしまったので私の止まり木から落ちてしまいました！’

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
60歳代初めの一組の夫婦が、ロマンチックな小さなレストランで、彼らの４０周年結婚記念日を祝っていました。

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.
突然、小さな、それでも美しい妖精が彼らのテーブルに現れました。

She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'
その妖精が言いました、”この様な模範的なご夫婦の為に、しかもこの長い期間、お互いに愛し合って来られたので、私は貴方夫々に一つずつお望みを叶えましょう”。

The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'
その奥さんは答えました、”おお、私は私の最愛の夫と共に 世界一周の旅行を希望します。

The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
その妖精がその魔法の杖を振ると、−パッと- あのクイーン・メリー２世号用の切符が２枚彼女の両手に出現しました。


The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.
その夫は一瞬考えました：”さても　これは全てとてもロマンチックだなあ、でもこの様なチャンスは２度と来ることは無いだろう。

I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'
私は、わたしの愛する君にはすまないけど、でも私は自分よりも30歳若い妻を持ちたいと希望します。

&g t; The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
その奥さん、そしてその妖精は、深く落胆しました、が、しかし、約束は約束。

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92 years old.
ですから、妖精はその魔法の杖を振りました、そしてパッと... その夫は92歳になりました。

The moral of this story:
このお話の教訓：

Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female.....
男達は恩知らずの厄介な奴等である、若し妖精たちが女性であることを記憶さえしていたなら...

Spaghetti ：スパゲッテイー

For several years, a man had been having an affair with an Italian woman.
数年に亘って、或る男が或るイタリヤ女と情事を重ねてきた。

One night, she confided to him that she was pregnant.
或る晩、彼女は彼に彼女が妊娠したことを打ち明けた。

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go back to Italy to secretly have the child.
彼の評判又は彼の結婚生活を破滅させたくは無かったので、彼は彼女に、彼女がイタリアに帰って秘密裏に赤ん坊を生むのならとの条件で、多額のお金を支払った。

Also, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would provide child support until the child turned 18.
且つ又、若し彼女がイタリアに留まってその子供を育てるのなら、彼はその子が18歳に達するまで養育費を支援しようと約束した。

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
彼女は同意した、しかし赤ん坊が生まれた時どうやってそれを彼に知らせようかと訊いた。

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back when the child was born.
それが他の人に分からない様秘密に保つべく、彼は彼女が郵便葉書で、その赤ん坊が生まれた時その裏側に ’スパゲッテイー’と書いて送るようにと言った。

He would then arrange for the Child Support Payments to begin.
彼は、それで その子供の養育費支援を開始することにした。

One day, about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
ある日、約8ケ月後、彼が帰宅すると彼の妻が困惑していた。

'Honey,' she said, 'You received a very strange post card today.'
’ねえ、貴方、’彼女は言った、’今日貴方宛にとても変な葉書が来たのよ’。

'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said.
’うんそうか、私にそれを寄こしなさい、そうすれば私が後で説明するから、’と彼は言った。

The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
彼の妻は言われた通りにして、彼女の夫がその葉書を読んで、気絶するのを見た。

On the card was written:
そのカード上に書かれていたのは：

Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
スパゲッテイ、スパゲッテイ、スパゲッテイ、スパゲッテイ、スパゲッテイ。

Three with meatballs, two without.
３つは夫々ミートボール付、２つはそれ無しで。

Send extra sauce.
余分のソース送れ。